| In Winter's Grasp |
[07 Dec 2005|05:27am] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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music |
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Rejoice - Pedro The Lion |
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I have just finished listening to "The Longest Winter" and "When They Really Geto Know You They'll Run" by Pedro The Lion, and it is late and I have been doing far too much thinking and procrastinating, and not enough work of late, i am behidn and although I have finished the bulk of my projects and assignments, I still have much to do, finish this Brit lit essay and compile some of my poetry to submit for Canadian lit, and prepare for my exams, including Poly Sci this Friday, which I have done very little sutdying for...
Anyways like I said, I have been doing too much thinking and soo much procrastinating, I figured why nto solve it by doing some more..before I go to bed, man it's late..... anyways I thought since it had bee nforever since I updated, I would, and I would start wit ha brief recap of the past few months...... I have seen a lot of sweet bands since end of summer and the start of the school year, including; The Weakerthans, Feist, K-Os, Xiu Xiu, Turning Into Salt, For The Mathematics, Winter Sleep, Death Cab For Cutie, Broken Social Scene, Senses Fail, The Early November, Saves The Day and some others I for some reason can't think of right now....oh probably because it is 5:30 in the morning lol...anyways all very good, my fav's were probably Death Cab, Saves The Day and The Early November (as I have wanted to see them for a long time now) and also Broken Social Scene...
I went on a road trip with some of the boys to Toronto about a month ago, to see Anto and Amy, and other then a rather rough and unlucky start we all had a great time, (Where I saw Saves The Day and The Early November)..p.s. no one ever uses Saves The Day's acronym...lol....I have been busy with school work, and with not doing school work, and hanging out with friends (which I haven't gotten to do in a while) as well as missing the company of other friends and making new ones and re-kindling old ones...... My birthday has come and gone, I feel older and yet the same, perhaps that comes from the denial that my teenage years are behind me and I am now 20.... I refuse to accept adulthood, and will continue to be immature.... I feel it is for the best..... ohh how I hate to grow up and grow old...... There is probably some hidden benefits and rights of passage that I am not seeing currently but as for now the horizon is full of promises and some of them are empty.
Anyways My brother and his girlfriend (Meg) are visitng from Japan, it has only been six months since I saw them last, but I still missed them lots, it is good to have the three brothers back together..... that has been about 3 and a half years in the making.... also hopefully my oldest (who is also the one visiting) will set up my new comp tomorrow... I can hardly wait...... Anyways that is all I can think of to say right now....
P.S. I will try to make my posts more frequent as I think many of you have stopped checking lol
and remember these solemn words:
"If it isn't making dollars, then it isn't making sense, If you aren't moving units then you aren't worth the expense and if you really want to make it you had best remember this, if it isn't penetration then it isn't worth the kiss" - Pedro The Lion....How delightfully terrible....
That's all for now kids....
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| Stability.......Something I'd kill for ...... |
[25 Oct 2005|04:12am] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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music |
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Brothers On A Hotel Bed - Death Cab For Cutie |
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I have just finished watching the movie "Closer" it was a phenominal movie, it completely lived up to all the hype I have
heard so little of..........and yet I find myself feeling numb......it's funny I've been feeling this way so often as of late, but nothing's changed it's the same old story over and over, like a broken record left on repeat to continuously and incessantly repeat over and over at nauseam, there might be slight variances to the characters or to the way they choose to act and respond this particular time, but they are all basically the same and remain intact in their cheap, taudry, tiresome, troubled mannered millieu.
It forms a crippling collage a montage to my naivity and inability to learn from lessons passed, drilled in so deep I begin to loose all meaning of all the words you said or left out, and left me pondering about....this is all soemthing I can't begin to get back no matter which side of me wins the power struggle, whether it be love or hate that wins I lose and it's quite simple. The same resused plot to a chilling romance novel filled with deceit, hypocriticism, contrarying, varying comments and staements that simply spin around like a spoke in the wheel of a far greater machine then me, that I simply cannot leave.
Now I see mto be lost in my words and feelings, back t othe movie it was great piece of existensiamlism and the epic tale of the human drama, and like a car carrying too much dead weight it towed me and my theories across the interstates that collaboratively, cooperatly connect each differentiating scene that were painfully all similar. I was talking with a friend late last night, and he mentioned something to me that I had spent entirely too much time decipheriably decoding...perfection achieved through imperfection....which is true.....as a diamond cut from coal, the human speices a plague upon this planet, like a virus feeds on the living and the suffering of others, we fester where we shouldn't meander.....we always go back to what we know and what we shouldn't want.
God Natalie Portman is gorgeous and I could relate so easily to all the characters I saw on the screen. The warm and cooling glow of all the pixels forming, cooperatively creating a reflection on the solidyfied sandy door. Like a mirror that mesmorized my vessel, it depicted an image of what is basically me and the events of the past few years that I have died and survived, and just like the faces I felt soo many similairites, like a flash back from a battle long ago and recently passed I could see soo muhc of it reoccur.
We all go back to what we want, what we want isn't what we should......and I've been doing it everytime, leaving myself high and dry......liek an old towel that you carelessly, callously left to the cold, to shiver and freeze, and drop to it's knees, numb and alone and begging to please take me home......back to roam where I dare not roam...where I should not, it makes me ill in a wonderfully wicked way, Your a poison I've been takign for so long now I don't remember how it was before, the canvase of another life I cannot recall, and I am decimatedly diseased and as desperately obvious as you......
But alas, you went back too, it kills me to say I'm just like you..... and together we along side every human light will shine up and reflect suffering all across this globe. It is the critical cahracter flaw that will lead to our destruction, indirectly self inflicted we sufferably swallow these bitter pills agaian and again, and we roam where we should not roam and we talk on the phone and you choose your words carefully to leave me with just enough hope to keep me hanging and from hanging up..........
We all want what we shouldnt' want, we all want what we shouldn't want, we all wander where we shouldn't wander, we all wander where we shouldn't wander.
And seeing the absence of my name or even my saving grace reminds me of just how ridiculously cold you really are, and how I could not have learnt much ,if I let you back in. And just like me he'll go back, and the spoke of the tiny wheel will come back to its tiny track that it knows so well as home....
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| I'm Cold, Sick, Ashamed and Shivering |
[19 Oct 2005|05:02am] |
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mood |
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numb |
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music |
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Line Of Best Fit - Death Cab For Cutie |
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fuck fuck fuck I am stupid.........fuck fuck fuck i am stupid........never.again.........i'm so stupid...fuck fuck fuck It's 4:45, and I have to be up in less then 4 hours and I have so mcuh to do tomorrow, yet I really don't want to/can't sleep...i'm stupid...fuck fuck fuck lying in this coffin, my eyes are frozen open, and I don't desire to see the poloroids my head is full of, like a filing cabinet, that has no rhyme or reason, I am left comtemplating everything and every word you said, and it starts over and over again, and I can't sleep and I can't dream, not with this glowing luminance shining on the corner of my bed, haunting me from across the room, that is presenting all the names and faces that I desperately want to forget, taunting me and asking me to dream of nothing.........and rubbing glory in my pale and expressionless face, and I can't believe that I would let myself be soo decieved....like the frame of an uncompleted house I stand and face the trials and tribulations of the wind and weather....... and these melow-drama kings and queens won't stop laughing at me and my unpolished teeth. I can't deside or describe what's inside of me or what my body is doing here, in this foreign place, that I don't recognize, like a tomb of a crypt that I know all too well, and the walls are closing in as I can see them forming a monument of what is left of me...and I can't help but sigh and find some relief in knowing the way it's always been and rabbit was foolish enough to think it could walk right through the rattler's den.........
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| Dream In Japanese |
[11 May 2005|04:10am] |
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mood |
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 lethargic |
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music |
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With This Song I Will Destroy Myself - Moneen |
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Hey kids! It's 4:10am on Wednesday morning.....or tuesday night, depending on how you look at it..... Anyways Drew and I are having a great time at my brother's (Brandon) place here in Tokyo. Drew is currently awake in bed, and I am well, writing this journal. I got to head off shortly though as I am getting up around 9:30 to get some souvenirs and mail some postcards. Afterwards, we are going to Shinjuku (an area in Tokyo) to check out this sweet sword museum and take care of some souvenirs stuff and I can't remember what else right now. We have done all sorts of cool stuff so far, as most of you should know from e-mails, like seeing my brother's Ojiichan (grandfather) going to two other Ken's (prefectures) other than Tokyo which were Chiba (Where Ojiichan lives) and Kanagawa. In Kamakura (Area in Kanagawa...man I bet this is sounding confusing......) We saw this giant statue of Buddha, we als osaw a very cool Shrine, we have seen many Shrines along the trip. We have taken some sweet engrish pics as well as well as many others of different variaties, ranging from touristy to family to friendship to pure hilarity and chaos! We have bought some cool clothes "HOW DARE YOU NOT BE ME!"....shall be explained when I get back.... We have been to the high tech district and played some guitars in a music store. Additionally we have also bought soem sweet cds most of which have bonus stuff as they are the Japanese versions, and we have eaten some really sweet food! I must say every meal has kicked some serious ass, no dissappointments......not that I was really expecting any. One most notably was eating at Megumi's (brother's girlfriend) retaurant before it opened to the public where we ate a super great meal for free. We had 7 free beers as well between Drew and I. The super awesome food, I will probably miss that most when I get back other than my brother and other family relations and the great sites......Anyways it is getting late and I 've got a lot on my mind, see ya later kids....
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| More Than I Should Say |
[19 Apr 2005|03:19pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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It's Happening - Number One Fan |
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I'm sitting at my desk and I'm empty, there's this void inside and it's filling my lungs, I'm drowning. "What they call love is a risk, cause you will always get hit out of nowhere by some wave and end up on your own". Nothing could be more true, I found someone.....someone great....so perfect....and I guess that's why she's gone. Over before it begun, over before we were one. Maybe it's better this way? That's what I'm told, but that isn't true and I know it's my fault again....I just wish things could work, only once. I don't know if this entry will remain, just like the letter I never gave her, I just need to get this out. I'm talking to her now, and God, I'm lying, she asks how am I? "I'm fine" I can't let her know, at least not yet...no matter how much I'd like to believe it, honesty gets us nowhere. However, I can only lie so well.... I can't make it concrete that I'm fine, I just can't be that strong. Why does it have to be so complex? I mean I know without it there'd be no fun but dammit if two people love each other why can't it just work? I don't even know what the problem is in it's entirety, I am just left with my assumptions. I just wish I could make it right,I just wish I could fix us. I wish I could lie better and fake this conversation into something that could be considered "warm". But I can't all I can do is sit here with lyrics running through my head: "break my heart another day, you lost what you wanted, did you want it this way?", "Don't make me sad, cause I cry like a girl and maybe that's bad, don't make me mad, cause I lose my composure and that's all that I have"
"Now....this one's on you, and I won't let it die,....I won't let go. Goddamn this whole thing. I remember being happy"
"Broken heart, what's the matter? You knew it was coming, but it didn't change a thing, cause I had no idea"
"Footprints and fallen leaves,these are the kind of things lovers think of, backseats and motels, these are the places that they've been. You want none of these things, these are the kind of things that make us weak." The only problem is I want these things.....
She says she needs to figure things and herself out....what exactly? I don't know, I just wish I knew. Let's not make this one sided, I know she has been used and broken too and I know I'm not the first or last person to get burned. I'm just writing what I know, and that is all I can do. I want her to know that "I know you must do what's best for you and I said that you must do what feels right. In our hearts, we must carry on". Her happiness really is everything to me, and that is why I'll let her believe that I'm ok. I guess I'd just likeotbe happy too, I thought we could have been so together, there was so much potential here. It was young love and we had already made plans, not crazy ones for the future, just simple things we could share, and that's why this all feels like some bad dream, that I just can't wake from. It wasn't supposed to end this way, I can feel it. I just don't understand, love or anything at all. All the hypocracies and subtle hints have only made me lost. I just don't understand how you can finally tell someone you love them, and two days later, make it disappear. Love doesn't just go away that easy....and if we aren't supposed to force anything, why force ourselves to stop? It's a terrible thing to deny your heart. God this is probably my longest journal entry, I'm writing this to officially sign my resignation, I want out. I want out of this sick game..."love" it doesn't get me anywhere.....This was a promise I made to myself at the start of all of this.....that if I couldn't make this work, then none of this is worth it. I promised myself I wouldn't let this sort of thing happen again, I wouldn't get so wrapped up in someone, I wouldn't take the risk, I wouldn't let myself be vunerable....but I did.....and this is the last time.........
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| Band Survey #2 |
[08 Mar 2005|11:05pm] |
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mood |
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melancholy |
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music |
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Rest - Turning Into Salt |
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Hey Guys I decided to try it again, this time using Brand New.....So here it is!
Bands // Song Titles | Created by BourdiezFreak and taken 22873 times on bzoink! | | Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: | Brand New | | Are you female or male: | The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot | | Describe yourself: | Failure By Design | | How do some people feel about you: | Secondary | | How do you feel about yourself: | Mix Tape | | Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: | Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't | | Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: | Seventy Times 7 | | Describe where you want to be: | Sudden Death In Carolina | | Describe what you want to be: | The No Seatbelt Song | | Describe how you live: | Me VS Maradona VS Elvis | | Describe how you love: | The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows | | Share a few words of wisdom: | Good To Know If I Ever Need Attention All I have To Do Is Die | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
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| Band Survey #1 |
[07 Mar 2005|11:53pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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music |
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The Company Calls Epilogue - Death Cab For Cutie |
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Hey guys I did this really cool survey where you fill the answers out with the titles of a band, I guess I sort of cheated, I picked Ben Gibbard, so I got to use songs by both Death Cab For Cutie as well as The Postal Service! Anyways I might take it again and do it for Brand New!
Bands // Song Titles | Created by BourdiezFreak and taken 22814 times on bzoink! | | Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: | Benjamin Gibbard (DCFC The Postal Service) | | Are you female or male: | This Charming Man | | Describe yourself: | I Was A Kaleidoscope | | How do some people feel about you: | Champagne From A Paper Cup | | How do you feel about yourself: | A Lack Of Color | | Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: | Fake Frowns | | Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: | The District Sleeps Alone Tonight | | Describe where you want to be: | Coney Island | | Describe what you want to be: | President Of What? | | Describe how you live: | This Place Is A Prison | | Describe how you love: | Clark Gable, A Movie Script Ending | | Share a few words of wisdom: | Information Travels Faster | Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
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| So This Is The New Year.... |
[07 Mar 2005|08:43pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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Little Fury Bugs - Death Cab For Cutie |
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So this is the New Year......and I don't feel any different......Sorry kids its been so long since I have updated, I'm gonna try to do it more regularly. I guess I am just mixed up, things are different but in the same way, I know that's a wierd statement to say..... but I can't think of a clearler way to put it. Perhaps I should elaborate.... I have been quite unhappy lately..... I am just really getting sick of girls and relationships, they are seeming quite pointless. Looking at it logically there seems to lack much evidence that requited love exists... it is a gift that has been lost for so long now. I am also finding that there seems to be little reasoning behind having a relationship, there is soo much bad, that, at least to me right now anyways, it seems to outway the good 2 to 1, if even that. I've been burned again... much like I was in the summer, but it's my fault I guess perhaps it's the collection of stupid phrases and procrastination with a side order of indecision and compassion. Anyways I am thouroughly bitter and on the verge of changing my attitude. I mean I should have learned so many times before that girls are a waste of time, they are monsters, and I am finding less and less exceptions to the rule. I had also learned that it is those whom you care for most who can hurt you the worst, and your friends are no ommission. I guess I needed a refresher course whether I wanted one or not. Perhaps this is some form of Karma payback, or vengeance. Maybe this was designed to teach me that being nice gets you no where, that you should only look out for number #1. Perhaps the age old saying is correct, maybe nice guys truly do finish last. Either way I'm learning.....
P.S. The Taste of Chaos tour was very awesome.
That's all for now kids,
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| Hollow |
[23 Dec 2004|04:45am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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Sic Transit Gloria (Glory Fades) - Brand New |
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This conversation has inspired me to post another song...... here it is
(Intro)
1st verse
You came at me, with your rusty hook, you gutted me and tore me open wide
You reached in with your hands and you pulled out my insides
As I fell down to the ground you tied them to your car
You left me for death knowing, I wouldn’t get very far
(interlude)
2nd verse
I won't chase you, no, here I will remain,
As you drive off, my organs drag across the highway
I won't ask for them back, no, that would be wrong
I gave you my heart, it was yours all along,
(chorus)2x
Maybe I should thank you,
For showing me, what I'm made of
Maybe I can't thank you,
You left me so hollow
(interlude)
3rd verse
My corpse will lay here, all through the night looking at the sky
I'll stare up through the dark, and try to write your name in starry lights
You can come at my empty shell with all you've got
C'mon I'm begging you, give me your best shot!
Bridge
Well you can beat my body, t' ill it's black and it's blue
You can take back all the times you said "I love you"
You can knock me down, so I fall face first,
It really doesn’t matter, no it doesn’t matter much
If you knock me onto a nailed filled bed
Cause you can’t kill what's already dead
(chorus)3x
Maybe I should thank you
For showing me what I'm made of
Maybe I can’t thank you
You left me so hollow
(Outro)
....And you’re already gone....
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[23 Dec 2004|04:36am] |
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music |
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Moshi Moshi - Brand New |
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Hi guys.... it has definitely been a while since I have updated....... I don't know why I always feel like writing in this when I get this way...... Sigh..... I am going and being stupid again...... I am talking to my ex.....once again..... and I feel sick..... we're discussing and aruging about the past.... and I am reliving it all over again...... I had really started to think that I was strong...and could not come close to crying again.... but like always we are never as strong as we wish we were. It is always the people that know you best that can make you feel the worst...its funny how life is like that.... those people are given the secret password to rip you apart.........No matter how much time passes, they still see right through you and it cuts like a knife......
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| Stealing Is Wrong |
[14 Dec 2004|09:42pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Watching Futurama |
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"You won second place?" "No.... but I got it....." I got this from Drew's journal.... Who could resist "Your Inner Gangsta!?"....... Enjoy!....
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| Quizzy Mc Quizzerson The Third |
[14 Dec 2004|03:03am] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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music |
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My Nine Rides Shotgun - Brand New |
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Hey guys! Here goes another quiz I got from Matt, enjoy.......
You Are a Peacemaker Soul |
You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.
War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.
You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.
Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy.
While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.
You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.
On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit.
You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice.
Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul
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| Quizzy Mc Quizzerson The Second |
[14 Dec 2004|02:35am] |
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mood |
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gloomy |
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music |
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Flying At Tree Level (Version 1.0) - Brand New |
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I just found this quiz on Matt's journal......I feel it hits close to home....
You Are the Individualist |
4
You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.
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| Sweet Finch! |
[13 Dec 2004|10:25pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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Watching Family Guy |
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I just took this I guess quiz? I got from Drew, it is hilarious, I have no idea how it got this, but it rocks!
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| A Year Spent Fishing.... |
[13 Dec 2004|04:35am] |
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For The Best - Straylight Run |
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Upon request of a best friend (Anto) I will put some song lyrics of mine on my journal from time to time, I will add to it as popularity or my feelings dictate... so let me know what you think everyone... I should probably start wit hthe first song I wrote of that our band is using, but I will start with maybe the most popular one we play right now.... it is entitled "A Year Spent Fishing".... here goes.....
A YEAR SPENT FISHING
Intro
1st verse
Splash, my heart hits the water,
I’ve cast out my line now, into the deepest ocean,
I’m searching to find, something so meaningful,
Something that will last, more than the temporary,
Intro
2nd verse
My heart is the bait, it dangles on the line,
It sinks to the bottom, along with my faith,
But than she swims over and she captures my heart,
I try to reel her in, man I think I’m in love,
Interlude
Chorus
I’ve been fishing for oh so long, trying to find what we all want,
But it seems all fish swim away and love wasn’t meant for me,
I don’t know but I’ve been told, everything comes full circle,
All I know is she was mine and she’s swam away,
Intro (second time altered)
3rd verse
This perfect catch, wasn’t perfect at all
And the waters that were once smooth are now plagued with storms
She’s tossing and turning, and fighting the line
She pulls away from the docks with my heart in hand.
Interlude
Chorus
I’ve been fishing for oh so long, trying to find what we all want,
But it seems all fish swim away and love wasn’t meant for me,
I don’t know but I’ve been told, everything comes full circle,
All I know is she was mine and she’s swam away,
Bridge
It would seem it was all a charade,
She was no fish, but a shark on a raid,
She managed to take all that was mine,
She broke my heart, when she broke the line.
Instrumental (Solo)
Outro
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| Quizzy Mc Quizzerson |
[13 Dec 2004|03:14am] |
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Your Favourite Expression - The Last Chance Diaries |
] |
Wow! Later sher came quick! lol
Q: What color is most reflective of you?
Red
Q: How did you get the idea for your LJ/BK name?
It is the name of one of my songs, plus "boy" on the end
Q: What time were you born?
Umm I think around 6ish in the morning on December 1st 1985
Q: Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
Not that I can remember, maybe came close a few times, like poor Mr. Dress Up :(
Q: What color underwear are you wearing?
red, white and 2 shades of grey mickey mouse/ snowflakes boxers
Q: Do you want a baby?
Yeah, I definitely want to have kids... when I am older
Q: What does your mom do for a living?
Slaving for my family!.....especially me! lol
Q: What does your dad do for a living?
Same as above, plus retired from the Air Force, plus property manager
Q: What is your pet's name?
There have been tons of pets in my family, but I will start with the ones tha twere around while I was born, there were our two cats Fuji(Siamese) and Checkers (Black and White?) than our dog Judge (Brown and White Bassithound) Now four cats, Penny (Calicoe) Ollie (Orange Tabby) Inky (looks like he is wearing a tuxedo) and Onx (Torti)
Q: What color are your bed sheets?bottom sheet is white with blue stripes.. or blue with white stripes! lol and the top are Star Wars sheets! yess! (I am a nerd!)
Q: What was the last concert you attended?
Turning Into Salt when celebrating my birthday!
Q: Who was with you?
Who wasn't? lol Kristen, Drew, Matt, Amey, Darren, Chloe, Nik, Jon, Warren and Rob
Q: What was the last movie you saw?
Napoloen Dynamite! Yes! Awesome!
Q: Who do you dislike at the moment?
Some people, including myself
Q: What food are you craving right now?
Hmm... Rolo Icecream?
Q: Did you dream last night?
I probably did, especially about a certain two people..... I do however having a Marshy's nightmare, where like I was gonna leave and like suddenly the dishpit was full of dishses and I had to work crazily all over again! and soem kinda of trauma of reliving the dish washing I had already done! Man that is weird!
Q: What was the last tv show you watched?
hmmmm I think the tale end of an episode of King Of The Hill or maybe a bit of The Man Show
Q: What is your fave piece of jewelry?
Toss up between my Jade Dragon necklas, Beads, my thumb ring and my two (very old) Tim Horton's bracelets (that are all stretched out! Is that even jewelry?)
Q: What is to the left of you?
A lot of stuff, cubbords full of cds, cds lying around, dictionairies and junk sprawled around, my t.v., VCR, my cell phone, discman.. I could go on......
Q: What was the last thing you ate?
Hot pizza sub from subway... mmmmmm subway
Q: Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?
I dunno..... I can't choose, I might get in trouble!
Q: What shampoo do you use?
Dove baby...dove.. oh yeah!
Q: When was the last time you cut your hair?
hmmmm I think Setpember or October
Q: Are you on any meds?
nope
Q: Do you have a mental disease?
probably
Q: What shirt are you wearing?
my bad ass black Taking Back Sunday shirt (Thanx Anto!)
Q: What time is it?
3:57 am ....too late....or early?
Q: What is your fave frozen treat?
Hmmmm... Toss up between Iced Capps and Rolo ice cream
Q: Are you sexy?
No, I am too immature to be sexy!lol
Q: What's your favorite shopping store?
Hmmmm where ever I find sweet clothes, recently, West 49 and Blue Notes, I think.....
Q: Are you thirsty?
a little bit, good thing I got a drink here! ;)
Q: Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
Definitely.... well I think so,.... it used to be easier....
Man I should really get back to my homework!
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| Entry The Second |
[13 Dec 2004|02:38am] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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Your Name Here (Sunrise Highway) - Straylight Run |
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More confusing days.. Saturday night I worked. Oh boy was that a long and busy shift at the old Marshy's....ugh I had to clean the staff bathrooms....which will become routine every shift now (Ugh again). Came home not in the best of moods... feeling gross but too tired and lethargic to shower, so I washed my hair.... lol Anyways I ate dinner (sweet subway) and chatted on msn. Got to have a long convo with one of my best bud's (Anto) who I haven't talked to much in a while as he is off at university outside of Toronto. Another one of the people I chatted too was .....my ex.... I hate this, how she keeps coming back in... and I hate myself more for letting her...... Everytime I have myself and my feelings for her somewhat sorted out, she comes back in...and I fall right off the cliff again...This helps mix me up inside and "the dream I'm chasing" (Ironic) gets more and more messed up...... I here she (dream) is really happy right now though...I am happy to hear that..... Tonight though I did have fun, Matt picked me up, and we went to Drew's to watch movies. We got there and Kristen and Mark were already there. We watched Napoleon Dynamite! Awesomely awesome! a very good random movie. I was so happy to finally see it after hearing so many good things about it, and oh yes it lived up to its hype! We also watched Happy Tree Friends on DVD! lol Oh man is that stuff funny yet disturbing! lol Other than thoughts bugging me, It was an awesome night
See all you kids later!
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| Two very confusing days |
[11 Dec 2004|06:00am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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Am I Wrong - Brand New |
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Well this is my first journal entry and wow! what a time to write! It has been a very confusing last couple of days to say the least. It is six in the morning and I am finding myself awake and too mixed up to sleep but coherent enough to write.
Thursday the day poor Dimebag Darrel died... R.I.P. we will miss you. This day was also extemely messed up. Don't you hate it when one possible future becomes more distant and than entangled by the past come back to haunt you? After some msn chatting, I realized I am not the only one chasing a certain dream (Have to be vague) and later on this is accompanied by my ex......... Out of nowhere....after a month of being blocked and subject to "the last word" she comes back...... Just talking to her makes me sick.. I start to relive everything I tried so hard to forget, it is like some kind of vietnam war flashback..... Well at least tonight (Friday) was fun, after a day full of comtemplation and distraction of homework, my brother took me out for a night on the town to celebrate my 19th birthday (actually last wednesday). He showed me the two bars he works at and took me to 3 strip clubs (no I am not the tipical stripclub fare.....although this would be my scond visit in a week(not the makings for a strong argument!)), no lap dances just "good", "clean"(I use these words loosely) fun, but it was fun none the less. It did help me somewhat keep my mind off things... for the most part... anyway it is quite, quite late and I have work tomorrow night. Have a goodnight/morning everyone!
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hollowboy's journal